Awkward
by Lightspeed Bubba
Summary: Some nights, you just can't catch a break. Especially if your name is Jaune Arc. Come watch him struggle through what could possibly be the most awkward night of his life. (Modern AU)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Well, that was a nice little hiatus. Hopefully you all didn't miss me too much. I won't make you wait any longer, enjoy.**

Jaune took a breath, hands gripped tightly on his steering wheel. For what felt like the twentieth time that night, he thought about heading back to his rinky-dink apartment and passing out on his couch. It would be so easy and his boss Cinder would understand… right? No, of course she wouldn't, Cinder was a taskmaster when he was doing things the right way. If he were to skip out on a gig like this for any reason short of dying, she would fire him on the spot. No, sadly he had to do it.

To make matters worse, the evening's "uniform" was thinner than his desire to wear it and it was the end of February, not exactly a time of year known for its abundance of warm weather in East Vale. The deep navy-blue shirt was awkwardly long and aggravated the razor burn on his freshly shaven chest. The pants of a matching color were snug, pulling on all the parts he didn't want pulled by fabric. Top it all off with a pair of black boots that were very clearly meant for someone with smaller feet, and a stupid hat that never sat right on his head, and it made for the most uncomfortable outfit he'd worn since wearing a dress to senior prom because of a promise.

Taking one last breath, he turned his car off and slipped the keys into his pocket. He snatched up the hat from the passenger seat as well as the boombox, which only had one functional speaker, and trotted up to the door of the house. It was a more appealing one than he normally saw, usually only being called out to seedy hotel rooms and semi-renovated former drug dens. By comparison, this place was like heaven.

A decently manicured lawn, some pretty flowers in the garden (daisies if he remembered correctly), a well-lit front porch, and even a pink flamingo standing ever vigilant to the immediate right of the door. With a huff, he slung the boombox upon his shoulder, leaned against the doorway, put on his best (or worst, depending on who you asked) smirk, and knocked on the door. He heard someone shushing on the other side before feet padded over and opened the door.

He was greeted by one of the hottest girls he'd ever seen outside of a movie. She had to have had the biggest mane of golden blonde hair on earth, each falling down well past her back. A set of stunning purple (lilac?) eyes met his and he spied a glint of a mischief within them. In the periphery of his vision, he could see all of the wonderful curves she had, not that they were hidden all the well considering she answered the door in a pair of black sleep shorts and a tank top. A tank top that seemed to be working overtime…. Jaune gave a small head shake, trying to push down those thoughts. The girl smirked at him, crossing her arms over her chest.

"What seems to be the problem, "Officer"?"

"Got a couple of noise complaints from this address earlier this evening." She placed both hands on her cheeks, feigning fear.

"Oh no, Officer. Are you gonna have to give us a fine?" Jaune took a step into the main foyer, taking in the expertly painted walls adorned with family photos of a massive blonde man and two little girls. He set the boombox down on the floor right inside the doorway.

"I'm sorry to say ladies, but the only "fine" coming out tonight," He gave a half-hearted tug on his shirt, pulling it completely off and letting it fall to the ground. "Is me." If there was one part of the job he didn't completely hate, it was getting to show off his body. He'd spent months with a personal trainer, who was also a dear family friend, to go from a fairly skinny boy into a hard-bodied man. The attention was nice and it did wonders for his confidence, something he still struggled with.

As the hooting and hollering of what sounded like at least ten girls kicked in and he made a show of tearing off the obnoxious pants, a voice called out. One he was intimately familiar with.

"Jaune?" In an instant, the fantasy crumbled. The wall between work and his personal life turned to dust, swept away by some cosmic broom. Coming out of the kitchen with a bowl of ice cream in hand, was the last person he expected to see. Midway through his pelvic thrust, he turned to see his trainer, friend, and crush, Pyrrha Nikos.

 _Oh no._

"You know the stripper, P-money?" She sputtered out what can only be called a response if you were being absurdly generous.

"How do you know the stripper, Pyrrha? Something you're not telling us?" That came from a girl dressed in a flowy brown shirt, a beret, and sunglasses in spite of them being inside and it being night time. Pyrrha's face turned as red as her hair and before anything more could be said, the blonde girl that answered the door had looped and arm around Jaune's and dragged him to the couch.

"Hope we were your last customers for the night pal, cause you're gonna be here for a while." At this point, Jaune was an observer in his own life. It's true. His soul had exited his body and was watching from above. _I've died. This night has been so ungodly embarrassing, that I actually died and my soul is now going to float off into the heavens._ It wasn't until the group of girls sat Pyrrha down right beside him that his soul committed the ultimate act of betrayal by returning to his body instead of ascending to the afterlife.

"Spill it blondie, how do you know P-money?" He opened his mouth, only to be overlapped by a short girl with a shock of bright orange hair and lively turquoise eyes.

"Are you two together-together?" Talking was never something Jaune was especially good at. Talking to a girl was something he was even worse at. Talking to _six_ girls, five of them strangers no less, while eighty percent naked, in front of his crush, with pumping synth music still blaring from a half-broken boombox was something he may have been the worst in recorded history at. It seemed that Pyrrha wasn't much better, if her silence was anything to go by.

"No way Nora, she wouldn't have been so surprised if they were dating. He'd have told her. No, these two are something else." _Kill me. Please kill me. God, Satan, Allah, Buddha, someone just please kill me. Take me away from this awful nightmare._

A girl with snow white hair and icy blue eyes narrowed her gaze at Jaune.

"Pyrrha, I assume this is the same Jaune you were tel-" The red headed trainer moved faster than Jaune thought a human being could, clamping her hand over the girl's mouth. She mumbled something and the white-haired girl sighed, nodding her head. Thankfully, the girl in the sunglasses moved the conversation forward, plopping down in the seat Pyrrha had been in. She traced her hands up his bicep, looking over the top of the glasses.

"So, tell us about yourself, "Officer." Jaune laughed nervously, inching away from the girl.

"Can I- can I have my shirt back at least? It's cold in here and-"

"NO!" Their stringent declaration caused him to wince. He took a breath, trying to collect himself. While this was easily the most embarrassing night of his life, answering questions was preferable to some of the… other requests some of the women asked him to do. He shuddered at the memory.

"Well, I uh-" He cleared his throat, running a hand through his hair. "I'm uh, twenty-four, and an entertainer, as you all can see." He let out an awkward half-laugh half-breath thing as Sunglasses Girl moved closer, devouring him with her eyes. She reminded him of a hungry lioness deciding the best way to devour an injured gazelle.

"Uh- I've been doing this for about four months. It pays the rent well enough. I have a cat back at my apartment named Tyrian, he's really funny sometimes. One time, he tried to attack this crow on the windowsill outside the window in the kitchen. As soon as he leapt up to paw at the glass, the wood broke and Tyrian fell into a pot of mac and cheese. Took forever to get the stains out of his fur." The tale earned him a chorus of "awws" from the group, Pyrrha followed up his story with one of her own, having released the white-haired girl and taken a seat on the adjacent chair.

"Do you remember when he attacked my toes during movie night?" She said with a giggle. Jaune felt a smile form at the memory.

"And you were so shocked that you threw the whole bowl of popcorn all over the couch?" The two shared a laugh at that, only to remember a moment later that they had guests listening in. Five pairs of eyes flicked back and forth between the two. The orange haired girl, Nora if he remembered correctly, was the first to break the silence.

"Movie night, huh?" Pyrrha and Jaune both shot forward in their chairs.

"IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!" All the while, their faces turning a deep crimson.

"Guys, we really should stop this." It was the last girl, a lanky brunette who seemed to be wearing a pair of... bunny ears? Subconsciously, he made a note to ask Pyrrha about that later. Now though, he was thankful for her speaking up. The white-haired girl nodded her head.

"I agree with Velvet, it's none of our business what these two do in private." The boisterous blonde groaned.

"Don't be party poopers you two, we're just having a bit of fun."

"Not very fun for me." Said Jaune as he grumbled to himself. Sunglasses girl sighed.

"Fine, fine." She peered over the top of the glasses at him, a mischievous glint forming in her eye. "If you're not going to answer questions… you're going to dance for us like you're supposed to." It was the only time in Jaune's life he remembered being thankful for being a stripper. _At least they won't ask me any more personal questions. I can dance for a couple of hours, get my stuff, and retire with the biggest bowl of ice cream that's in the apartment._

Unfortunately for Jaune, he didn't catch the look that Sunglasses sent to the blonde ringleader or the smile that crept onto her face.

"Don't think you're out of the woods yet, cutie. Your first dance is going to be for Pyrrha." It was like the air had been sucked out of his lungs by a vacuum into another dimension. Maybe it took his blood too, it would explain how pale he'd gotten.

His gaze turned to his redheaded friend who seemed to have been struck by the same vacuum. He turned to the blonde, hands shaking.

"Wh- what did you say?" She smirked.

"You heard me. You can either answer invasive questions about your past with our favorite redhead, or you can grind on her and the rest of us." She mimed the motion and he made a concerted effort for _not_ watch the things it did to her chest. Instead, he looked to Pyrrha, his eyes begging her for help. Her gaze seemed to be saying the same thing.

 _What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do!? I really don't wanna go into any more details about us. We're just friends! Sure, sometimes we get a bit drunk and make out but what friends don't do that? Under no circumstances can they know about any of that though! On the other hand, can I really get back into character and strut my stuff like I'm supposed to in her lap? What happens if I say no? Will they call Cinder? If they do, will Cinder fire me?_

She probably would. Thoughts of the things he'd done previously trickled into his mind. All of the spanking, licking, and biting… No, there'd be no going back after doing any of that with Pyrrha. Kissing while drunk was one thing but dancing naked and… other lewd things? That was a very different matter.

"Wait, wait. Just wait." He took a deep breath. "I'll answer more of your questions." A trio of joyous shouts were given along with a groan from the white-haired girl. "You still have to pay me though for the hours." The blonde nodded.

"Don't worry about lover boy, I've got your bag." She flicked a lock of hair behind her ear. "And because I'm so nice, you'll get a nice little bonus for your trouble. Sound good?" He nodded.

"Can I at least put my pants on? It's kinda cold in here and-"

"NO!" The chorus shouted much louder than they needed to, he even heard Pyrrha's voice in there. So, he did the only thing he could do. He got as comfy as he could on the couch and took one last deep breath.

"Alright, what do you want to know?"

 **A/N: Poor Jaune, I can't just let him live can I? As Volume 6 continues, I'll more than likely be doing more one shots and I'm not above taking requests into consideration. Until next time, give this a review so I can make even better stuff, give it a favorite if you really liked, and maybe show it to a friend. As always, may Fortune favor you all.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Never let it be said that I don't listen to the fans. Things get a bit steamy (it has a point though, I promise) in this so if you're not a fan of that, you might want to sit this out. Please read the note at the bottom for the plan from here on out. Enjoy.**

A short tone chirped from his pocket, Jaune reached for his pocket but paused, deciding against it. He knew who it was. It was Pyrrha, sending her seventh message of apology after last weekend's… interesting predicament. He wasn't mad at her per se, but talking to her felt weird now. He was super self-conscious and his nerves were all over the place. The logical side of his brain told him to get over it, she didn't make the call for his services, she didn't grope him or get too handsy, hell, she didn't even know what he did for a living before then.

Thinking back now, he wished he'd have told her. Pyrrha wasn't the type to judge someone just because of their job and she knew how dire his financial situation was. Those late notices from the student loan people were piling up a lot faster than he wanted to admit.

He looked down to the cat in his lap, a brown and white Siamese that was missing half of his tail, that he'd been absentmindedly stroking. Tyrian cocked his head as the petting stopped, instead thinking it was playtime which meant he was nipping at Jaune's fingers.

"Ow! You little goblin." He pulled his hand away which caused Tyrian to follow his target. This led to the cat climbing up and down his sentient scratching post. In his haste to get Tyrian to stop, his phone slipped out of his pocket, clattering to the cold wooden floor. Jaune gave up the fight then and there, instead opting to panic.

 _Please no broken screen, please no broken screen, please no broken screen._

Gently, he retrieved the phone and was relieved to find that the screen was fine. As he inspected it though, he saw the banner notifications for Pyrrha's messages. Taking it as a sign that he needed to answer, he scrolled through.

 **Pyrrha - I'm really sorry about last Friday. I didn't know, I promise. My friends aren't usually like that.**

 _I would hope not_

 **Pyrrha - Please don't be mad at me.**

 _I'm not._

 **Pyrrha - Are you mad?**

 _I don't remember the last time I was really mad at you Pyr._

 **Pyrrha - I'll make it up to you! We can do a movie night tonight, your choice. I'll even buy us pizza.**

That may not have seemed like a lot, but Pyrrha took her diet _very_ seriously so she only gets greasy stuff like pizza on special occasions. By virtue of being on a similar diet to her (maintaining his body was harder than _getting_ it) he also didn't eat the stuff much.

The next three messages were just gifs of various hugs, it was the usual way she apologized.

With a sigh, he ran his fingers through his hair and hit reply. For what felt like hours, he stared at the keyboard. His fingers typed and then deleted, over and over again. _What do I even say? Do I really want to see her tonight?_ His eyes travelled to the couch he'd been sitting on. It felt weird without her next to him, colder if it was possible for East Vale to get that way. _Screw it._

 **Jaune - Yea, that sounds great. Around 8?**

 **Pyrrha - Perfect. Should I bring something for Tyrian?**

 **Jaune - Don't worry about him lol. He's got his own food.**

 **Pyrrha - Alright, I'll see you then.**

He slid the phone back into his pocket and scanned the living room, if one could call a couch and a TV the living room. Stray clothes dotted the landscape and he turned to the sink to see a pile of dirty dishes.

"Guess I should clean up, huh?" Tyrian ignored him as usual, instead opting to bat at his stuffed wolf. "You know, you're not very helpful." The cat meowed in response, not really sure of what he expected, Jaune got to work.

He hadn't thought there was that much work or maybe he was just working slow, either way, the sound of someone knocking on the door caused him to put a halt on the dishes for now. Tossing the towel over his shoulder, he made his way to let Pyrrha in. As his hand reached for the knob, he paused. _What am I doing? Open the door, stupid. But what do I say to her? Maybe start with "hi"? You know, like a normal person._ The sound of knocking dragged him from his thought debate.

"Jaune? Are you awake?" He shook his head, opening the door.

"Hey Pyr." She smiled, carrying a large half-Hawaiian (for him) and half white with extra feta and olives (for her). She dressed casually, wearing a hoodie sporting the logo of the gym she worked at and a pair of jet-black leggings.

"Hello." Her voice was unsteady, a quality that Jaune wasn't used to hearing. She stepped inside and set the open pizza down on the counter. While they settled in on the couch, several inches further apart than usual, a silence kicked in. It was nearly forty-five seconds of listening to the clock tick before Pyrrha spoke.

"I want to apologize for last weekend again. I promise you, I didn't know you were… hired to be there." He shook his head.

"It's alright, it's not like I told you so you couldn't have known." She stared at the folded hands in her lap, fingers clasped tightly.

"I'm also sorry about my friends. They aren't typically like that but we'd all had a bit to drink and Coco is… forward at the best of times." Again, he shook his head.

"Don't worry about it, they're not even in the my top ten of worst customers. Some are significantly more… grabby." He said with a small laugh. As the worlds left his lips, he watched something ignite in Pyrrha's eyes as her head snapped upright, only for her to clamp down on it a second later. He shot her a puzzled look but it was forgotten a second later as she continued.

"Still…" Before she could really get started, Jaune cut her off.

"I'm not mad at you Pyrrha, I promise." She visibly relaxed, pulling her legs up onto the couch. "I'm just a bit… embarrassed is all." He drew his own legs up, cradling them to his chest. "I never really wanted you to see me… "at work", you know?" She reached out, maybe attempting to put a hand on his shoulder or something, he didn't know. What he did know, was that she hesitated and pulled away.

"You don't have anything to be embarrassed about, Jaune."

"I can't help it. I just… to strip in front of you, of all people, and then for the girls to ask all of those questions… to both of us! Not just me, they really dug into your side too!" She nodded. Coco had been relentless in her questioning.

" _Have you two ever slept together?" "How big are you where it counts?" "Are you a virgin?" "What kind of toys do you have?"_

It seemed to be all sex stuff with her and he felt himself shudder at the memory.

"Yes, Coco is… an interesting girl." He groaned, running his hands through his hair.

"Like I said though, I'm not mad at you. More like I'm mad at the whole situation. I didn't want you to see me like that and it change how you think about me. So, I kind of avoided you this week. I shouldn't have and I'm sorry." This time, she didn't hesitate, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I underst- Tyrian!" Jaune watched her head turn in an instant to the counter where their food was. His followed suit and he was off of the couch in the blink of an eye. He scooped the furry demon up just before his paw could make contact with his precious pizza.

"Damn it Tyrian, how many times do I have to tell you to stay off the counter?" He meowed in response as Jaune brought him to the couch. The blond took the spot significantly closer to Pyrrha than earlier and Tyrian seemed to take this as a signal to step into the redhead's lap.

"He never has been good at taking orders, has he?" Jaune scoffed.

"Not from me at least. He listens to Old Lady Salem just fine, just loves it when she comes around to collect rent." Pyrrha scratched Tyrian behind his ears and he began to purr.

"Doesn't she always have treats for him?" Jaune grunted in confirmation.

"I just don't want him to get fat again." Pyrrha giggled and Jaune logged into Netflix. Wanting to put something on that they didn't really need to pay attention too, he clicked on "Shrek" and hit play. The redhead gave a light-hearted scoff as the blond retrieved their pizza and a couple of sodas from the fridge.

"What? It's a classic." Pyrrha chuckled and began to munch on her food.

After finishing the first one, they moved to the second and third movies. And after that, it just didn't feel right to not finish the quadrilogy. When the movies shifted from Good to Bad to So-Bad-That-It's-Good, they broke out the liquor. After the first couple of shots, they were both starting to feel it a bit, so they switched to Twisted Teas and hard sodas.

Both of them were cuddly drunks and it didn't take long for to two to become near attached at the hip. From there, it turned into light touches on the arms and sides. Pyrrha looked up at her best friend, smiled, and kissed his cheek. Not wanting to appear rude, Jaune did the same. At that, the redhead's competitive streak kicked in and her lips found his neck. Not wanting to be outdone, Jaune shifted their position, having her straddle his lap as he attacked her collarbone.

For a moment, Jaune felt a hand on his chest. Pyrrha pulled back, a ravenous hunger in her eyes.

"Are you sure?" Jaune nipped at her jawline, fingers tracing up the back of her hoodie.

"I've never been more sure of anything." He kissed her again and felt her lips curve into a big smile. Her hands crept up into his hair as she ground her hips into his own. In the moment, Jaune curse the creator of jeans for creating a prison so strong. Pyrrha pulled back for a moment, a mischievous smile on her face. Ever so slowly, she slid her hoodie off. The bottom of her tank top rose just enough to give a tantalizing view of her toned abs. She pulled him forward a tad, hands wandering to the bottom of his shirt.

"You're overdressed." She claimed his neck like a conquering warlord, teeth grazing his flesh as she pulled upwards. Never having been a patient man, Jaune aided in the process. The last vestiges of blood pumping to his upper head told him that he'd torn the article of clothing but he really didn't care.

Pyrrha's nails glided across his skin, goosebumps following close behind. His fingers slid up her arms to the spaghetti straps of her shirt, tugging them to the side and pushing the garment south, leaving her in a simple black bra and her leggings.

He drew her in close, his lips and teeth grazing her collarbone and the valley between her breasts. A moan poured from her lips, powerful enough to feel the vibrations in his touch. Pyrrha grabbed a handful of hair, pulling his gaze to meet her own.

"Here or the bedroom?" In response, he stood. Her legs wrapped around his waist like they'd done this thousands of times. His hands cupped her ass as their lips found one another's again. Travelling to his bed, he made a mental note to thank Tyrian for making a swift exit from his pillow, he kicked the door closed behind him.

He gently laid her down on the bed, pinning her arms to the covers above her head. He attacked her neck again, one hand toiling underneath with the clasp of her bra and the other undoing his belt. He fiddled with both for a minute before groaning and stepping back, admitting his failure. Pyrrha giggled and sat up, undoing the clasp herself while the blond took care of his belt.

She tried to make him sweat by slowly pulling down the straps and making a show of getting topless. In a motion that required more dexterity than he knew he had, he pulled the article of clothing off, tossing it over his head. He smiled at the shocked expression on her face before kissing back up her neck to whisper in her ear.

"Leave the stripping to me." She moaned again as his hand ran along her breast. A feral growl rang out from her throat and she shifted, pinning him to the bed and straddling his hips again.

"Fine, but you leave the 'strenuous physical activity' to me then." Jaune felt a laugh rumble from his chest and claimed her lips again. After a moment, he pulled away, looking up into her emerald green eyes. He couldn't ever remember a time when he'd seen someone so… hungry. She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Everything about her was incredible. Her mind, her body, her spirit, her heart, her laugh, her smile. Even now, in his lusty drunken state, he was coherent enough to say 'wow.' Sadly, for him, those aren't the words that came out of his mouth.

"I love you." The words spilled from his lips before he could register that that _wasn't_ what he meant to say. Pyrrha paused, a hand on his chest.

"What did you say?" Jaune panicked. This was _not_ supposed to happen. That was an inside thought and it was supposed to _stay_ there.

"Uh… what I meant was… um. What did I mean? Well, I uh… I meant uh… dammit… I meant to say…" He was nearly overtaken completely by the emotion until she smiled and said it back.

"I love you too." It was his turn to be confused.

"You do?" She nodded. "Well… I… I'm glad." His mind was moving at a mile a minute with possibilities. Granted, eighty percent of those involved sex, but he thought that was forgivable considering their current position.

No more real thoughts were spoken aloud that night, only passionate moans and cries of each other's names. It was, arguably, the greatest night of their lives. An evening that left them exhausted, sore, and very, very satisfied.

-/-

Morning came all too quickly, and with it, Tyrian's insistent meowing at the bedroom door to be fed his breakfast. Jaune rolled over, hoping the pillows would dampen the noise and the cat would go eat the leftover pizza or something. Anything that meant Jaune wouldn't have to get out of bed. As he rolled though, he realized two very important things.

Thing one being that he had one of the worst headaches he ever remembered getting.

Thing two was that he wasn't in bed alone. His eyes traveled down to the ocean of red hair on his bare chest and felt his groin stir as memories of last night flooded into his mind. _It wasn't a dream._ He nearly fainted at that. He'd slept with Pyrrha Nikos. His personal trainer, best friend, and the love of his life. One final memory crashed through the others like a drunk driver in a downpour; He'd confessed and so had she.

A cloud of doubt roared in, snuffing out the sunshine that had been his realization. _She only said it back so you'd sleep with her._ He tried to push the thought out of his head but every time he did, it came back. Having nothing to lose at this point he thought, he stroked Pyrrha's hair. She had always been an uncommonly light sleeper and even the slightest touch could wake her. It seemed this was one of those times as she raised her head from his chest and wiped a spot of drool from the corner of her mouth.

"I love you." She gave him a lazy smile and nodded.

"I love you too." With that, she promptly settled back onto his chest, returning to sleep. Jaune felt his heart stop for a moment. The clouds tried to step back in but they were no match for the light that his joy was giving off now. He was in love! With someone who loved him back! Jaune Arc was a stripper in love with his best friend. Everything was right with the world.

That is, until her heard the telltale sign of glass breaking and the meowing that had ceased start up again.

 _Fucking Tyrian._

 **A/N: Alright, here's the deal. I don't really have much of a plot for this story beyond this. They got together and that's really what we all want to see. However, if demand is high enough then I _might_ be able to get another chapter out of this, like a proper date or something. Tell me in the reviews what you think, I'll be reading all of them as usual. Until next time, may Fortune favor you all. **


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